Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
Just erased 'masturbate' from my mental To-Do list because I've got too much stuff to do. I hate adulthood
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Im surprised putting the throwing knife "dartboard" next to the door didnt end up worse
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
So I think I might just embrace the awkwardness and say he fingerblasted her cause thats the greatest word in existence
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
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