So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Breakfast is bomb, yo. McDonald's before ten thirty is like Katie Holmes before Tom Cruise.
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
No I'm not coming over. That Bob Ross drinking game is too intense.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I just realized, I'm going to be on my period for the end of the world. FUCK.
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
I just saw your brother in some random persons yard climbing a tree. Just saying.
Probably on drugs.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Randomize
