No, we just ended up walking around in his pool high and singing songs by The Wiggles.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
i wasn't about to bring her gummy handcuffs to her father's funeral
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I'm sorry for breaking our door. And being a bitch about it.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
hot take: drunk me can walk through walls?
Randomize
