I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
I wish I was that guy from the miller light commercials so I could walk into parties and take peoples beer without getting yelled at
I'm pretty sure you thought I could absorb alcohol through my dress
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In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I went from looking for a bong to home decor in a 10 minute span. This is what being an adult is all about!
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Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
It's beautiful and huge. Like a dinosaur.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize