can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
he found cum stains on my sheets and all i could blurt out was "better on the sheets than in me"
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
If I don't have tequila in my hand soon, I'm going to have to violate human rights laws
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
I guess I asked for the two old strippers numbers at the end of the bar and it turned out to be the bartenders mom and aunt...
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
Randomize
