? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
it's a well known fact that sluts are attracted to bright colors
american apparel?
try lime green
Ways to know you did something wrong: you sugar-coated it for your therapist.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
Stole every fake plant from the lobby and placed it in front of you're apartment door, Enjoy!
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
I was cock-blocked by a swat team last night.
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
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