p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going to start telling people I'm a sophomore so they stop asking me about college and what I want to do with my life
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
His new job just became new places to have sex at.
Will the fact that I have 4 boob hickies add to or take away from tonight's outfit?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
Randomize