I wanna bring you to show and tell
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I told him you forbid me to sleep with him so he needs to accept that.
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
