i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I told him I'd give him a BJ if he admited Hanson was good.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
If you sleep with him I will stab you int the uterus with a pitchfork.
Prepare the pitchfork.
Randomize
