what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
There was a guy running for some position in our government named "young boozer" hell yes I voted for him
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
You had all day to plan ahead & get mixers, so whose fault is this sobriety?
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
Randomize
