i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You are the human incarnation of a drinking problem
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
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