i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Just KTHXBAIed an old man for staring at me
God my Facebook chat is a graveyard of old blowjobz
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
Playing Cards Against Humanity with my relatives at Christmas while I'm stoned was a bad idea...
Why does your place smell like gin and misery?
I prefer to think of it as 'ode to single life'
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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