His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
Now have a vodka water and get your shit together
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Having a man strip on demand was an awesome way to start birthday. What more could a girl ask for? U the best!
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
You don't have to have sex with both if us but I would like a little positive fucking regard.
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
