There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
You realize if you die tommorow, the last memory i'll ever have of you is your ballsack on skype
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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