hey this is lauren, i have to type for jon because he's convinced the tongs he's holding are his real hands
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Can we just talk about how the only thing I have on my camera from this weekend is a video of you putting your whole fist in your mouth hahahha
I WOKE UP IN A FUCKING DOG BED HOW DO YOU THINK I FEEL
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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