so that guy from last night texted me saying i flashed half of my extended family last night. so classy.
the "happy anniversary" cake for my mom and dad is about to turn into the "yeah, that's a hickey, welcome back from italy" cake.
he spent the whole night trying to convince me into a2m. i won't even use the pb til i clean the jelly knife. i love him but it's not going to happen.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
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I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
i dont even mind you always shaving my pubes when i pass out, i'm starting to find it liberating.
You grabbed her hand and started jacking her finger off. She was horrified.
Did it finish?
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
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Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
You tried to use him as a battering ram. I'm 99% certain that's why he left.
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
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