On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
I just had sex in the back of an ambulance. Call me.
This house was built for laser tag.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
Do you remember using the vicegrip to demonstrate how wide your penis is?
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
He won a jackpot and invited his ex girlfriend over to have sex on 5grand
Everytime I try to keep track of the amount of people I slept with I always forget about that guy I met on the dc metro, where I woke up to him organizing his Special K and Molly and I was covered in sleeping cats.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
At least I’m an “essential employee” and can still bang my boss. \n\nFingers crossed my husband doesn’t ask why I’m essential, the orgasms are too good to give up during this pandemic
Randomize
