dude. I'm so drunk.
pete, this is bryce's mom
I can't wait to have my cock in your ass
pete, this is still bryce's mom
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
I been sleeping but occasionally wake up feeling like tiny elves are in my throat ripping my esophagus to shreds with their bare hands.
Somehow, you made that sound extremely magical and not at all painful.
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
I just wanna get high and take a fucking awesome nap. Those are my goals for the week.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
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