How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
You could give me a blowjob later? :)
I meant do something romantic..
Blowjob In the moonlight?
1 month til my stepdad becomes a u.s. citizen, so if you want to get in on the divorce pool its your last chance, $5 a square.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
I want a musical about memes.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize