So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
Was the guy in the cowboy hat kinda hot or have I just not had sex in a really long time?
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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