so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
He paid me $20 to swallow a baggie of glitter, which turned out to be the best decision I've ever made. My vomit has never been prettier.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
I hope dressing like a sexy, but very grown up and intelligent, secretary while out shopping helps disguise how high I am right now.
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Randomize
