the new term for farting is butt boxing.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Get this. He's a red head and he works at country oven bakery. He will forever be known as the gingerbread man.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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