He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
I was pretty stoned. I thought I needed a seatbelt at the restaurant.
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Tell nick i'm sorry for throwing a block of cheese at him last night
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
