Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
its weird that my cat bites every fat chick i bring home. i repeat every fat chick, qhT KINDA FRIEND ARE YOU
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
once he tried to wake me up from my hangover nap to have sex, that's when things went downhill. he had to go.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
It's 6am and I had to explain to the gas station attendant why I didn't have shoes on and I'm covered in maple syrup.
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
How naked do you want me to be?
Randomize
