If my vagina had boots, it would be shaking in them.
hanging on that rope, lady gaga looks exactly like a used tampon
all i know is that if they can hide that much blood in her outfit, they definitely could have hid a penis
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
After that song played in the club all he kept drunkenly saying was "Birdman goes brrrrrr"
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
A bitchslap is in order.
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