Ambien. No doubt about it.
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
He asked if it was my vagina. I told him it was my butt. Clearly I need to buy him a map of the female form.
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
We just shotgunned beers for America
The main two things I remember from last night is you "spanking Katey into reality" and watching her barf in terror.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
one week and then i'm back on the sexual grind. a party is being planned in my vagina's honor
Randomize
