He had personality for days, but cock for only minutes
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
woke up with withdrawal cold sweats this morning. spring break must really be over.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
He woke up in a dragon costume, covered in bong water. That was a party we will regret missing.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
AMERICA LOVES YOU. RIDE THAT DICK LIKE PAUL REVERE RODE HIS HORSE SO MANY YEARS AGO
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
I just took a picture of Austin's dick wearing a hat. Except its not a hat it's a DayQuil cap.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
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