I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I mean I gotta puke to be skinny, wax to be hairless, and drink to be fun. Life isn't easy.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
new years resolution, not be in jail at midnight for 3rd year in a row.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
it was the most awkward makeout ever. it was record breaking really
...i feel like you have a lot of those.
He fucks strippers and doesn’t have a life plan. Of course I’m going to regret this
Randomize
