I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
We were having sex and his high flatmates stood outside his room playing the guitar and singing Somebody to Love by Justin Beiber. Weirdest night ever.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
If you're still up for that roadtrip, I managed to end up in Louisiana and could use a ride home.
Of all the things I've masturbated to while high, my favorites are ritz chips and trees
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
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