thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I've replaced the bottom of the food pyramid with alcohol.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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