As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I wanted to dispute a few 411 charges on my phone bill. The service rep told me I called them four times asking for Lady Gaga's number.
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
I seriously just caught my 15 year old little sister with a positive pregnancy test coming out of the bathroom. Honest to God.
I have a coat hanger and a baseball bat. Her choice.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
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