I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
What's the appropriateness of putting a 50 cent lyric in my gmas eulogy?
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
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