1:32 am: your girlfriend looks like a man
1:48 am: your uglier
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just bailed mom out of jail. Tell me i'm not the favorite child
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
thank you for the vibrator recommendation, i've come six times today and it's only noon
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