and then I told him he looked like the Gordon's Fisherman dude. I don't think he thought it was funny, because he 'forgot' to pay for my beer.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
So this text is costing me two dollars because I'm out of the country, but I just wanted to let you know it went well with the stripper last night
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
They're frat boys at heart and have sickly, dusty, rotting souls.
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
yep, just sat in the backseat of my car for about five minutes looking for the vodka soaked underwear,when i came to the realization that i really gotta start getting my shit together..
In my defense, the second lapdance I gave was because of a dare.
Randomize
