What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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