I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
in the middle of it he kept shouting: im going to be masturbating to this for the rest of my life
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
He knows my period schedule but not my work schedule.
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
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