hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
Yeah not really sure what I said but I remember "douchebag" and "fuck your own face"
To a 70 year old lady?!
She was wearing a shirt that said "Just Do Me", holding a half of a bottle of Vodka, and was screaming at her friends "PUSSY JUST SWALLOW!" before she chugged the rest of the bottle.
Dude, if you don't take her, I will.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
