remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
At a pool hall. Dudes walkin around with fuzzy handcuffs cuffed to his belt. The douche bag level grows higher still
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
