She's JV to your varsity
Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
His dick was poking my bladder. That big...
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
If by any chance I go to the hospital make sure you stuff a pint in my pockets so I can keep up.
Something's wrong. My throat is definitely not in it's normal spot. Way too low.
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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