Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
He waited until after foreplay to tell me that he didn't have a condom and "we" would just have to settle for a bj tonight...
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
At what point did you realize I was getting blown under the table during our dominos game?
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
