never have i ever had a craving for dick this badly
i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
GOING OUT OF BUSINESS: we're having a foreclosure party tonight...We'll also be raffling off a washer/dryer, microwave and a white tiger head.
Green mimosas i think yes
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
I hope you don't have to start the day explaining to me how you failed to turn "Can I practice my belly dancing in your apartment" into all night sex.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
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