I hate drunken dyslexia, i thought she said "someone to do" not "something to do" long story short i now have a restraining order.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
I dont care how high you are, meat and sprinkles dont mix dude
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
so in case you needed a ticket for the Hot Mess Express, I'm the conductor now.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
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