I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
please tell me you remember why "7 days" is written above my bed in red marker
He felt like a one man threesome
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Some guy just yelled at me from his car "CLIIIIIIIIIITT"... I feel like this has something to do with last night....
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
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