Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
We couldn't find him for like 4 hours. Turns out he was sitting under a tree and had thrown his phone in a lake because he couldn't figure out how to unlock it. Freshmen.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
He just showed up on my porch naked with just a blanket and a trash bag
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
