you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
she smelled like a LAN party
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
It's official drugs can't kill me
Also I spent like 2 hours on the hubble/nasa website sunday night looking at pictures of outer space and cried my face off at how beautiful and complex it is. What's wrong with me?!
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
So, seriously. How does it feel to know that you're riding a cock that was in kindergarten when you were going to prom?
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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