There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I need to stop coming to work sober
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
We watched a biography of Frida Kahlo in class today. It was depressing. A chick with a UNIBROW just put my sex life to shame.
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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