The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
I asked him how he was going to celebrate tomorrow and he said "tits, clits, and bong hits"
This is so pathetic it makes me miss snorting lines alone in my room listening to 'one more drink'.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
If we order a pizza and I contribute 9 cents, is that fair?
I drank, I fought, I made my ancestors proud.
And then someone hit me with a pool cue
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I think I met my butt stuff soulmate
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Woke up next to my vibrator and a recipe for fudge brownies. If that doesn't scream I NEED TO GET LAID, then I don't know what else could.
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