do you know anything about the $5 bill with my name stapled to it in my purse??
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
Let me start this apology by saying you were the finest piece of ass I ever had.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
