Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
I've known you for the past two years. You never kid about biology or alcohol.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
On my way to get pizza I followed a dog into Salvation Army where I was just hired
I'm pretty sure I imagined the dog... They still hired me
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
I was told I was gorgeous and a whore by the drag queens. My night is complete.
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