yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I was so drunk last night, I had to Wikipedia what i did.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
She was surprised when she saw all our living room furniture was made from old kegs. It's like she's never met us before...
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
Aint no party like a Broke College Girls Eating Stuffed Crust Pizza party
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize
