Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
want to meet me after class and possibly get arrested for indecent exposure?
This reunion sucks. All the confident hot girls from high school are still confident and hot, and none of the fat girls with low self esteem transformed into hot girls with low self esteem.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Girl. There is no more toilet paper. You should have seen the twerking I just did to shake the pee off.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
Randomize
