It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
I'm lying here drinking water from a shot glass..moving is not an option right now
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
You poured your drink on him and called him a "useless cocksucker" because he wouldn't give you a ride home... on his skateboard
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
