It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
im having a threesome with these popsicles
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
he has the hands of the vagina gods.
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Liver, I have supported you for 18 fucking years. Pull your weight for ONE NIGHT and detoxify this alcohol.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
If I had your ass I would rule the world
Randomize
