Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Postcard from jail please. Reserving a spot on my fridge.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
she said she wouldn't go home with me until she looked up my name in her sex offender app. do i really give off that vibe?
Yeah. It's not just the beard either.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
Randomize
