i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
is not sure whether or not everyone at the club last night calling me a-easy is a good thing?
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
You are very nonchalant about the high probability of us having an orgy.
Eh, I'm ok with this, this can work. We're the best kind of the worst people.
We convinced the Dj to let us play musical chairs...... I won by the way.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Randomize
