Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I felt like a fire hydrant the vomit just kept coming out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
It'll be like a meth lab. But with jello.
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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