did you get engaged???
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I wish I could donate my sober boners to my whiskey dick
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
You don't take my phone while I'm passed out, have a three hour conversation on it with Dealer Dave, set up a date with him and NOT TELL HIM THAT HE'S NOT TALKING TO ME.
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
I be dancing. See you soon. You can drink tequila from my pants.
He told me"I think your ready for this" and went into his closet whipped out a movie certiffied light saber.
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
Randomize
