FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
If we go out with the 22/23 year olds we should make t a double date. I don't want to endure the judging looks of the public as I rob the cradle alone.
But here's the wonderful thing about us. It's us. You could invite me over, get really wasted and end up sleeping with someone else and id be there in the morning to take you to breakfast.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
I can now recognize that when my wine bottle reaches a certain point, I probably shouldn't tweet, text or call anyone. RESPONSIBILITY
I've never had to kick an employee out of bed to go to work before.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Randomize
