so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
How long does it take to cook a corndog over a candle?
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
Just stopped at a cross walk because the light turned red 3 streets down. I'm way too high.
Randomize
